One of the most devastating and damaging ideas and beliefs that society instills in everyone from birth is “I’m not perfect – I’m only human”! When you accept you aren’t perfect, you accept that you are not worthy. Society dictates that you have to work hard to get as close as you can to perfection to start attaining self worth.This belief goes against everything that all of us knew from birth – that we are all perfect! Once this belief in a false perfection, and therefore unworthy, is accepted, it cuts the child off from their heart. You can’t accept the perfection of the unconditional Love that you are when you believe you are not perfect. For the rest of your life you will be constantly chasing validation from everyone outside yourself to tell you that you are worthy and good enough. After all, they are the ones holding the yardstick. If you receive validation, it is always fleeting. You will quickly not accept it as good enough, because you believe aren’t perfect or good enough. You then restart the struggle to find more external validation. It is a never ending cycle to find worth and love outside yourself. All of this is because you aren’t giving unconditional Love to yourself.
Through our domestication we accept a false idea of perfection. This belief in false perfection consists of the ideals that our parents, teachers and society give us. It is an unattainable goal that others set for us. Eventually we accept the lie as our personal yardstick. At birth we are perfection, and we know it. We experience and express it. Our domestication replaces the inner wisdom of knowing we are perfect (truth), with accepting we aren’t perfect and that we must meet certain conditions to get as close as we can to perfection – conditional love (lies).
The belief in false perfection starts with the idea of good and bad. This judgement/opinion defines everything in our world the moment we accept it. Judgement is conditional love. Think about it, when you are good you are rewarded and are worthy of love, when you are bad you do not receive or deserve love. That is domestication. That is conditional love. It started with society domesticating you until you took over and began self domesticating. You accepted conditional love for yourself.
Conditional love is completely subjective. Every society and culture has a different parameter for good and bad and what the acceptable limits are. It is a creation of the human mind to put order and control into the individual’s world. It defines how you will self domesticate yourself your entire life. Good and bad are the cornerstone of conditional love, and they are what define personal hell.
Through our idea of good and bad we create all of our beliefs in right and wrong, holy and evil. This leads to creating should and shouldn’t, likes and dislikes, desires and aversions, want/need and don’t want. They become your definitions of self and they cut you off from your freedom. Your self domestication and definitions create your automatic responses and reactions to your mind’s perception of the world. You lose your freedom of choice. You don’t even challenge your mind and it’s definitions and reactions because it will punish and abuse you. You also don’t challenge them because your mind tells you “That is the way it is”, “That is how things are”, “That is what I like”, “That is what I want”, “That is how the world works”, “I’m not perfect”.
I challenge you look at your belief in false perfection. See where it came from. What are the ideas and beliefs that define it? Do they serve you? Do they help you create love and joy in your life? Where did it come from? When did you accept it as your belief?
To help you become aware, ask yourself this question for every role or idea you have about who you are and how you fit into society. Write down your answers and definitions.What makes you a good, and bad X? for example, what makes you a good and bad son or daughter? What makes you a good and bad mom or dad? You can realize that every definition you put on yourself will have the idea of a false perfection for you to strive for. That image of perfection is what the world told you that you have to be to be good enough and worthy of love. You can only be, and only are, the perfect you. That never changes.
The real you knows you are perfection. If you want to experience the beauty and perfection of your self, and your world, then make the choice. Take the first step and begin to move from the conditional love your mind holds to the unconditional Love you are.
The Toltec Heart Path gives you a map that can lead you back to your truth. It helps you regain the awareness of unconditional Love in each moment. You can be free of chasing external verification and ideas of perfection. You can experience self acceptance and love in each moment and experience. You can Love yourself unconditionally. This is how you create your heaven on earth.