You don’t have to Change

IMG_0746You Don’t Have to Change

You really don’t have to change, even though you will. The nature of being is change. Most of what people experience as “pain” is the resistance to change. The more you try to hold onto the past, or the way things used to be, the stronger the response. When you resist that the people in your life change because maybe that change moves them away from you, you have a powerful emotional response, and you work very hard to hold them tighter. When you try over exercising to hold onto a certain body type as you age, or cosmetic surgery, or eating habits, or social patterns, or mid life crisis, or a bigger house, etc. There are so many different ways we fight change.

The most painful and debilitating fight against change, which most people don’t even realize, is a fight against releasing our emotional wounds, or repressed emotions, and holding on to our story. When you were growing up and you had an experience that brought up strong emotional responses that you had no way to process at the time, you asked your mind to help you, and it did. Your mind hid those emotions away till you could process them. This was a wonderful tool at the time. It helped you survive. This becomes an issue when you never go back and heal those wounds. Not only have you held those initial emotions within you, but every time you have an experience that brings the same emotions up, your mind stuffs it down with the others that feel the same. This builds over a lifetime.

Have you ever wondered why you reacted the way you did, after you have a powerful emotional response that is way out of context? That is the overflow of those wounds you are hiding from yourself. Those wounds want to be healed. They want to be expressed fully and completely. They are always with you. Just because you don’t think you are carrying around a lifetime of fear, anger, guilt, shame, grief, etc., you really are. Your mind is doing the job you gave it so long ago – hide me from these powerful emotions that I can’t deal with right now! It is still hiding them from you. As long as you have not gone in and found your wounds and worked with them to express and heal them, those emotions are always being felt by you.

So what does this have to do with change? Your fight to avoid healing your wounds is your mind fighting to remain the same. As long as you hold onto those wounds, your mind is fighting with all your might to maintain the seperation, to keep your emotions out of your awareness. This of course then leads to maintaining the same reactions to the same triggers. Your mind is fighting to maintain the habits, behaviors and patterns that it created for you as an infant and a child to hide you from your wounds. It has become completely unconscious. It has evolved to more subtle and mature ways of hiding from yourself, but that is still what is going on.

How many times do you wonder why you keep repeating similar patterns and experiences, just with different people and places? How many times have you worked to change behaviors and patterns only to fall back into them when you stop focusing on changing them? How many times have you been successful at removing one poor habit only to have it replaced with another addiction that may appear healthy, but when looked at is still a destructive pattern of avoiding the real issues inside yourself?

The most wonderful part of this world, this life, is that we have the choice to decide what we want. Do we want to continue in our habits,patterns, and behaviors? Do we want to change a little to just relieve the pressure? Do we want to have a balance of being truly happy 50% of the time and not the other 50%? Do we really want to put the effort in to becoming truly joyful all the time? Everyone has a choice, and no choice is wrong. Every choice you make for yourself is perfect for you, where you are. For me, I chose a path that says I will do all the work that is necessary to create a life of complete 100% joy and unconditionality. It is not an easy choice, and I have no idea if I will ever get there. I do know that I have gone from a place of being miserable, depressed and in constant fear (which I never realized the depths till I did the work), to a place where I am at peace and happy most of the time. I fully accept myself as I am, and I desire to be even happier, but the joy is in being who and what I am, and that is perfect right now.

I would like to suggest that anyone that wants true change with deep peace and happiness, to find someone that can guide you through healing and expressing your wounds. It doesn’t matter the path you choose on that journey to freedom, whatever path works for you is what is best for you. Remember to look for a teacher or guide that is coming from a place you want to be, someone that has done the work and understands how to get there. Learning a path to freedom and experiencing it are two radically different things. A teacher can only take you where they have been experientially. If you are interested in the Toltec Heart Path, I am available for sessions via Skype or in-person.

The Power of Forgiveness


Forgiveness is probably one of the most powerful forces for change in your life. This isn’t a new concept. You hear this from every area of your life. Most self help teachers repeat it over and over again. How many times have you realized that if you don’t forgive someone, you will keep yourself stuck in a negative pattern?

Most people think that forgiveness is something we need to give to others, or get from others. People look externally for forgiveness the same as we project all our other wounds, because our minds don’t give it to ourselves. Through our judge and victim, our mind cuts us off from what our hearts already hold for us – forgiveness.

Something to keep in mind is that until you forgive yourself, you cannot forgive others. Until you love yourself unconditionally, you cannot love others unconditionally. Until you don’t judge or victimize yourself, you cannot stop judging or victimizing others. Until you are completely honest to yourself, you cannot be completely honest with others.

My teacher once told me that the steps in the path of transforming to a life of joy is as follows: awareness-acceptance-forgiveness-deservedness. These steps are not just covering overall aspects of your outer world, but most importantly your inner world. What in the world does that mean?

Every moment of your life is the only moment there is. This is what living in the now teaches you. The past is gone and is not the truth of who and what you are experiencing NOW. The future is a lie that your mind loves to dangle out in front of you to steal your energy. The only reality that exists is the reality you are experiencing right now. The Toltec way of life leads you to live intensely in the now.

When you make the commitment to being a Toltec warrior on your path to freedom, you begin learning how to take your awareness, your attention, back from the tyranny of your minds focus on your wounds and hiding them from you and your world. The art of stalking guides you to regain your energy and power. You begin to become aware of who and what you truly are. You begin choosing from the heart instead of your mind which is always choosing from your wounds. When you move to awareness and begin healing and living from your heart, your mind moves back to being the tool it was meant to be for you to function in the world instead of the controlling force in your life. Remember, your mind only knows and understands its filters. Your mind’s filters are all your wounds you have been holding and hiding from yourself, they are your judge and your victim-stance, they are your personal importance, they are the lies about you and your world that your mind chose to accept as truth when you were domesticated.

So as you cultivate your awareness through stalking, you begin to find your wounds and you heal those wounds through owning them, accepting them, and expressing them.  You

The next challenge you will find yourself up against is forgiveness. This is going to come up on a constant basis. Every wound you have, every lie you have accepted about yourself, every instance that you are holding where you went against your “book of law (lies)” that you find within yourself, every judgement you make against yourself, every time you victimize yourself…you will have to forgive yourself. It is good to understand that all the repressed emotions that are tied up in your wounds and lies are always with you. you are ALWAYS feeling them. Your mind will always hold them as long as you don’t accept them unconditionally and forgive yourself. This emotionally energy is why you create the hell that you do in your life. It is why you don’t see the world as heavenly the way your heart experiences it. Just imagine how incredibly light you will feel when you no longer carry with you all your wounds and strong limited emotions. All that limited emotional baggage that always peeks its head out just as you think things are going good. You can have that unconditionality, that joy and lightness in your life, everyone can, it just requires that you do the work.

Unconditionality really means complete acceptance. When you look at it, it seems so obvious, unconditionality = no conditions = acceptance. For most of us, we can’t get past our judgements, expectations, beliefs, ideas, the lies about our world and ourselves, our worth or belief in a lack thereof, and all of our other wounds that say “NO! Things MUST be different for me to accept myself and be happy!” Every wound, lie, belief, expectation, and judgement sets us up to put conditions on everything in our world, most importantly on ourselves. Through acceptance and forgiveness of ourselves and our wounds, we gain the joy and unconditional life we all desire.

Are you ready to transform your life? Do you want balance, peace, and joy? Contact me now for a free initial session.